Wednesday, October 10
Forgiveness
I think I will start today with some thoughts on forgiveness. I often am on the giving end when it comes to my stressed out hubby. He has a lot on his plate and being his wife, he feels much more relaxed around me than others so I tend to be his scapegoat. I get an apology for him being crabby to me and then 10 minutes later, I feel I should be getting another one, if you know what I mean. And sometimes I feel his apologies are not sincere because of that. But, 7 times 70 is how many times I am to forgive him according to God. He is such a good man. To be honest, in most cases I have aleady forgiven him before he has ever actually asked for the forgiveness.
Tuesday, October 9
I will still be thankful...
Good Morning God!
Good morning World!!
Yesterday, I was overtaken by a cold. Or maybe a sinus infection. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Very quickly.
Ever since those antibiotics, nothing in my body seems the same. There are some things that seem better, though. Like I have endometriosis-- that feels the same I think, but I also have IBS and that seems worse.
Sometimes I wonder if the IBS is actually an overgrowth of yeast in my intestines. I still think that and that would explain too, why the symptoms seem worse since all the antibiotics. Because before the antibiotics my body was finally feeling normal again and now I feel like I did 7 years ago when I spent all that time in the hospitals having tests to find out why I was in pain all the time. Because now the bad bacteria is winning over the good. It probably took 5 years before there was enough good bacteria to win over the bad and make me feel decent. The only good thing is that when I was in pain, I lost a lot of weight!! *giggles* That's my way of looking at it from the greener side of the fence! I t also makes me remember how healthy I have been and still how healthy I am compared to a lot of people who don't have it nearly as good as I do!
On a completely different note, my siding still isn't done! I am trying to be patient but this seems really ridiculous!
Oh, and the one guy is kind of freaking me out a little bit! Maybe I am getting bothered by nothing. Well, the guys never come in my house, they go to the basement to get their tools but never into my house. But the other day there was some problems with the outlet they were plugging into for power that I moved it into the kitchen so the one guy, Geno, had to come int he house to plug in--no biggie. He kind of stood there a moment, with a little small talk and then went out.
Yesterday, I didn't have school because of all the banging so I was researching this crazy religious organization on the computer and after staring at the screen reading so long, my eyes were kind of buggy, so I put my head in my arm to rest them just for a second. When I looked up, Geno was hovering over me, bent over me staring at the computer screen, and asks, "whatcha doin'?" My thoughts were, none of your business, go do my siding! But I said I was studying this religion and that my eyes were bothering me, so he said I should take a break. And that he was going to lunch, asking me to watch their tools. Fine, a little odd, but fine.
Then, I left to get away from the pounding--went to Goodwill. When I got home, they were gone. It had rained for 10 minutes so they packed it up and left. Whatever! urg.. Anyway, I had unpacked my bags and my phone rings. Not recognizing the number, I said "hello?" He says "This is Geno, who is this?" I said "Becca?" like why are you calling me?? So he asks me "How did your number get into my phone?" I said "Gee, I don't know, I've never called you.." So he started saying something about how he had just woke up and f- this and f- that and my f-in number was in his phone (he's not mad here, just can't come up with a more intelligent adjective here, I guess that the f- word) Then he says "Where'd you go?" "Umm...Goodwill?" I am wondering why he is asking me..."Find any deals?" he asks..."Yes, I did, some clothes for my son" (and an awesome rug for $15, but I didn't tell him that!) I am still wondering why he is asking me all these questions...Then I piped up, "I know how my # got in your phone! The first day you were supposed to come Duane gave you guys my number to let me know when you'd be here...although you never came nor did you call" (this was a mild rebuke for their being inconsiderate that first day by not calling) He didn't catch it, though. "So, okay, have a nice night...c-ya tomorrow" "Oh, ok, yeah, c-ya" I immediately got up and locked the front door.
So, is it me? Or is it a little weird?? Maybe he's just nice...Trying to be congenial?
Good morning World!!
Yesterday, I was overtaken by a cold. Or maybe a sinus infection. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Very quickly.
Ever since those antibiotics, nothing in my body seems the same. There are some things that seem better, though. Like I have endometriosis-- that feels the same I think, but I also have IBS and that seems worse.
Sometimes I wonder if the IBS is actually an overgrowth of yeast in my intestines. I still think that and that would explain too, why the symptoms seem worse since all the antibiotics. Because before the antibiotics my body was finally feeling normal again and now I feel like I did 7 years ago when I spent all that time in the hospitals having tests to find out why I was in pain all the time. Because now the bad bacteria is winning over the good. It probably took 5 years before there was enough good bacteria to win over the bad and make me feel decent. The only good thing is that when I was in pain, I lost a lot of weight!! *giggles* That's my way of looking at it from the greener side of the fence! I t also makes me remember how healthy I have been and still how healthy I am compared to a lot of people who don't have it nearly as good as I do!
On a completely different note, my siding still isn't done! I am trying to be patient but this seems really ridiculous!
Oh, and the one guy is kind of freaking me out a little bit! Maybe I am getting bothered by nothing. Well, the guys never come in my house, they go to the basement to get their tools but never into my house. But the other day there was some problems with the outlet they were plugging into for power that I moved it into the kitchen so the one guy, Geno, had to come int he house to plug in--no biggie. He kind of stood there a moment, with a little small talk and then went out.
Yesterday, I didn't have school because of all the banging so I was researching this crazy religious organization on the computer and after staring at the screen reading so long, my eyes were kind of buggy, so I put my head in my arm to rest them just for a second. When I looked up, Geno was hovering over me, bent over me staring at the computer screen, and asks, "whatcha doin'?" My thoughts were, none of your business, go do my siding! But I said I was studying this religion and that my eyes were bothering me, so he said I should take a break. And that he was going to lunch, asking me to watch their tools. Fine, a little odd, but fine.
Then, I left to get away from the pounding--went to Goodwill. When I got home, they were gone. It had rained for 10 minutes so they packed it up and left. Whatever! urg.. Anyway, I had unpacked my bags and my phone rings. Not recognizing the number, I said "hello?" He says "This is Geno, who is this?" I said "Becca?" like why are you calling me?? So he asks me "How did your number get into my phone?" I said "Gee, I don't know, I've never called you.." So he started saying something about how he had just woke up and f- this and f- that and my f-in number was in his phone (he's not mad here, just can't come up with a more intelligent adjective here, I guess that the f- word) Then he says "Where'd you go?" "Umm...Goodwill?" I am wondering why he is asking me..."Find any deals?" he asks..."Yes, I did, some clothes for my son" (and an awesome rug for $15, but I didn't tell him that!) I am still wondering why he is asking me all these questions...Then I piped up, "I know how my # got in your phone! The first day you were supposed to come Duane gave you guys my number to let me know when you'd be here...although you never came nor did you call" (this was a mild rebuke for their being inconsiderate that first day by not calling) He didn't catch it, though. "So, okay, have a nice night...c-ya tomorrow" "Oh, ok, yeah, c-ya" I immediately got up and locked the front door.
So, is it me? Or is it a little weird?? Maybe he's just nice...Trying to be congenial?
Monday, October 8
Breakfast...to eat or not to eat...
Good morning God!
Good morning, world!
I know I am supposed to eat breakfast. After all, it is the most important meal of the day. But I have very poor habits. I rarely eat breakfast. I rarely eat lunch. For me, I usually only eat dinner and it is way too late at night. The earliest being around 6pm and the latest has been 11pm. I am always bothered by my lack of discipline in this area of my life.
I have many excuses why to not eat breakfast. I don't like cereals--too sweet and I don't have time to cook a real breakfast. And milk gives me a sour stomach first thing in the morning. Granola bars aren't really ideal for breakfast either, but that's about the best I do (mint Caribou Coffee ones--yum). I thought to myself, if I am going to force myself to eat this dreaded meal, it should at the very least be healthy! So, a couple months ago, I bought some Kasha. I read on the box that it was tasty and good for me. Needless to say, the box lied. It tasted like cardboard. I added raisins. I added almonds. I dumped in sugar. That cereal was beyond being salvaged. I threw the bowl of cereal away and kept the box for about a month before I finally gave in and threw it away as well. $4 down the drain...
Then I read on a blog about Grits and how good they were. I'd never had them. Didn't even know what they were. But the day after reading that blog, I was in line at the store and the lady ahead of me had a package of grits. She was rather thin so I rationalized in my head she had to be thin because she ate grits! lol And I ran to buy some! Only $1.50 a box.
I got them home and my husband gave me his goofy look of what in the world are you eating now?... I like hominy, and grits are hominy so of course I will like them! Well, I added bacon, butter, salt, and to be honest, the flavor wasn't improving. To teach my children not to waste. I forced myself to finish the bowl . I finished it by around 2 that afternoon. Ah, but I did finish it. And I guess another positive was that I ate lunch that day as well! lol (these are still in my cupboard...)
Yesterday, I went to Sam's Club (I love Sam's) and I found a box of this hot cereal. It was an attractive box, in that it looked healthy. As if a box can look healthy. But it did. There was not a price sign above it so I was hesitant to buy it not knowing if it would break my bank or not. It is called Quaker Simple Harvest Instant Multi grain Cereal. Again, I am so picky! But let me tell you, at only 160 calories , 25 from fat...it is yummy! I only had the Vanilla, Almond and honey flavor. ( 9 grams of sugar which is a titch high, but who cares if it gets me to eat breakfast!) Listen to these ingredients: whole grain rolled oats, whole grain rolled wheat, rolled barley, whole grain rolled rye, sugar, almonds, whole flax seed, oat flour, natural flavors, salt and molasses. I can pronounce ALL the ingredients!!
I still don't know what I paid for the box, but I just don't care. It's worth every penny!
Good morning, world!
I know I am supposed to eat breakfast. After all, it is the most important meal of the day. But I have very poor habits. I rarely eat breakfast. I rarely eat lunch. For me, I usually only eat dinner and it is way too late at night. The earliest being around 6pm and the latest has been 11pm. I am always bothered by my lack of discipline in this area of my life.
I have many excuses why to not eat breakfast. I don't like cereals--too sweet and I don't have time to cook a real breakfast. And milk gives me a sour stomach first thing in the morning. Granola bars aren't really ideal for breakfast either, but that's about the best I do (mint Caribou Coffee ones--yum). I thought to myself, if I am going to force myself to eat this dreaded meal, it should at the very least be healthy! So, a couple months ago, I bought some Kasha. I read on the box that it was tasty and good for me. Needless to say, the box lied. It tasted like cardboard. I added raisins. I added almonds. I dumped in sugar. That cereal was beyond being salvaged. I threw the bowl of cereal away and kept the box for about a month before I finally gave in and threw it away as well. $4 down the drain...
Then I read on a blog about Grits and how good they were. I'd never had them. Didn't even know what they were. But the day after reading that blog, I was in line at the store and the lady ahead of me had a package of grits. She was rather thin so I rationalized in my head she had to be thin because she ate grits! lol And I ran to buy some! Only $1.50 a box.
I got them home and my husband gave me his goofy look of what in the world are you eating now?... I like hominy, and grits are hominy so of course I will like them! Well, I added bacon, butter, salt, and to be honest, the flavor wasn't improving. To teach my children not to waste. I forced myself to finish the bowl . I finished it by around 2 that afternoon. Ah, but I did finish it. And I guess another positive was that I ate lunch that day as well! lol (these are still in my cupboard...)
Yesterday, I went to Sam's Club (I love Sam's) and I found a box of this hot cereal. It was an attractive box, in that it looked healthy. As if a box can look healthy. But it did. There was not a price sign above it so I was hesitant to buy it not knowing if it would break my bank or not. It is called Quaker Simple Harvest Instant Multi grain Cereal. Again, I am so picky! But let me tell you, at only 160 calories , 25 from fat...it is yummy! I only had the Vanilla, Almond and honey flavor. ( 9 grams of sugar which is a titch high, but who cares if it gets me to eat breakfast!) Listen to these ingredients: whole grain rolled oats, whole grain rolled wheat, rolled barley, whole grain rolled rye, sugar, almonds, whole flax seed, oat flour, natural flavors, salt and molasses. I can pronounce ALL the ingredients!!
I still don't know what I paid for the box, but I just don't care. It's worth every penny!
Friday, October 5
Look at this!
This is my daughter's drawing! She's 11 and I think she has the gift of art. She made a multi layered border out of construction paper (I think we need to work on cutting straight...lol)
Now what are some ways she could use this talent to benefit God?? Any ideas?
Wednesday, October 3
Thoughts for today...
We've been reading Thessalonians. I really appreciate how God was so pleased with what they were doing as a church. But one thing that stands out is that Paul said to them, "although you are doing well, STILL EXCEL MORE"
That is what we need to always do as well. Obviously, not to go to heaven but becasue if we love God as we claim to, His commandments should not be burdensome to us. That means *all* of them, not just the ones we want to obey. We need to also remember to have joy in all the trials God puts us through. That it is His way of molding us and making us stronger disciples.
I always have to take a look at myself through God's eyes. I need to look at myself and my sin through His holiness (sprinkled with His mercy *wink*) to get an honest idea of where I need fixin'. It sounds like such and easy thing to do, but for me, my pride can stand in the way of my honesty...
That is what we need to always do as well. Obviously, not to go to heaven but becasue if we love God as we claim to, His commandments should not be burdensome to us. That means *all* of them, not just the ones we want to obey. We need to also remember to have joy in all the trials God puts us through. That it is His way of molding us and making us stronger disciples.
I always have to take a look at myself through God's eyes. I need to look at myself and my sin through His holiness (sprinkled with His mercy *wink*) to get an honest idea of where I need fixin'. It sounds like such and easy thing to do, but for me, my pride can stand in the way of my honesty...
Tuesday, October 2
Witnessing
I shuddered at the thought of witnessing the first few times I did it! I always chuckle when someone says I am bold. I suppose I am, only because sometimes people don't like me--I call it not "being chicken (aka-biblical definition is probably "ashamed" *wink*)" and sharing the love that was once shared with me!
And when you think about all the things that the apostles and the Christians during the Inquisitions went through...I mean, the way things are going, we might get arrested for talking about God publicly, but as of right now, there isn't any fear of torture. The worst that has happened to me was I was spit on. That is nothing compared to Christ having his beard ripped out, being punched beyond recognition, and THEN being spit on. I was just spit on.
For me too, I see my sister-in-law with cancer, only having one leg left, standing on a corner with her walker handing out tracts. If it's too windy, she can't do it because the wind will blow her over---seriously. I see it as shame on us if we don't. And God sees it that way too. I think it's in Ez. where it says that if we don't share with people their blood is on our hands. Can you imagine if God were to have you actually push every person you had opportunity to witness to but didn't, in to that Lake of Fire??? Can you imagine? *sigh*
So, for me, to witness, it's a breeze! And when a question gets asked I don't know how to answer, I go home and find the answer in my Bible! Either the word benefits them, me or both of us, depending on the open-ness of the spirits, I guess.
Just think, every person around you, if they do not know what Christ paid for their sins--ALL of them (can't lose your salvation) they will die most thinking they have a Savior, but in their minds, Christ paid for only SOME of their sins and therefore, according to the Bible, will have to go to hell to pay for the ones that they believe Christ didn't die for. Satan is so crafty...
We aren't raptured immediately after accepting the gift because God has work for us to do here. And that work is to share His gift with other people. My husband says God gave him a precious jewel that he is privileged to carry in the garbage can of his human sinful flesh.
So, now are you all fired up with the zeal of the apostles to go out and share with somebody??? Well, then JUST DO IT!
Daniel 12:3 " Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven and those who lead the many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever."
(I want to be like a flood light when I get to heaven, not just a 15watt bulb!)
And when you think about all the things that the apostles and the Christians during the Inquisitions went through...I mean, the way things are going, we might get arrested for talking about God publicly, but as of right now, there isn't any fear of torture. The worst that has happened to me was I was spit on. That is nothing compared to Christ having his beard ripped out, being punched beyond recognition, and THEN being spit on. I was just spit on.
For me too, I see my sister-in-law with cancer, only having one leg left, standing on a corner with her walker handing out tracts. If it's too windy, she can't do it because the wind will blow her over---seriously. I see it as shame on us if we don't. And God sees it that way too. I think it's in Ez. where it says that if we don't share with people their blood is on our hands. Can you imagine if God were to have you actually push every person you had opportunity to witness to but didn't, in to that Lake of Fire??? Can you imagine? *sigh*
So, for me, to witness, it's a breeze! And when a question gets asked I don't know how to answer, I go home and find the answer in my Bible! Either the word benefits them, me or both of us, depending on the open-ness of the spirits, I guess.
Just think, every person around you, if they do not know what Christ paid for their sins--ALL of them (can't lose your salvation) they will die most thinking they have a Savior, but in their minds, Christ paid for only SOME of their sins and therefore, according to the Bible, will have to go to hell to pay for the ones that they believe Christ didn't die for. Satan is so crafty...
We aren't raptured immediately after accepting the gift because God has work for us to do here. And that work is to share His gift with other people. My husband says God gave him a precious jewel that he is privileged to carry in the garbage can of his human sinful flesh.
So, now are you all fired up with the zeal of the apostles to go out and share with somebody??? Well, then JUST DO IT!
Daniel 12:3 " Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven and those who lead the many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever."
(I want to be like a flood light when I get to heaven, not just a 15watt bulb!)
I must be a whimp...
I broke down last night. I got up at midnight to go to the bathroom and was awake for 2 hours in pain before I went to the urgent care to be treated for a UTI. I had been drowning myself with cranberry juice to no avail. Last night the pain was unbearable. I gave in.
I actually feel like a failure. I was so adamant I wouldn't go in, that I would take the slower, natural route. Without a 4th round of antibiotics. *sigh* Gotta do whatcha gotta do. I had to go to an urgent care regardless, because without insurance, no doctor will see me here--even if I pay up front. But the urgent care is so expensive...
The antibiotics they gave me are supposedly only for treating the problem and aren't a broad spectrum type that penicillin and the clamyicin was. Guess I'll be good as new in 3 days. And it was cystisis (bladder infection), not a UTI...one step worse is a kidney infection. And they are so very painful so I am really glad I went in, I think.
I know that my sister-in-law will be disappointed in me...at least I feel like she will be. She has the will-power of champions and has fought through years of cancer and I gave in to my minor ailment. I am going to continue the treatments of the probiotics she recommended and still drink cranberry juice. As a preventative measure. I also have not had sugar in 3 days. All those foods in the cupboards with sugars in them, I have bypassed (except maybe a eensy weensy snitch here or there...)
So, I am on the way to having a healthy body. MAybe with cutting out the sugars I'll see those 130's on the scale again?? *giggles*
I actually feel like a failure. I was so adamant I wouldn't go in, that I would take the slower, natural route. Without a 4th round of antibiotics. *sigh* Gotta do whatcha gotta do. I had to go to an urgent care regardless, because without insurance, no doctor will see me here--even if I pay up front. But the urgent care is so expensive...
The antibiotics they gave me are supposedly only for treating the problem and aren't a broad spectrum type that penicillin and the clamyicin was. Guess I'll be good as new in 3 days. And it was cystisis (bladder infection), not a UTI...one step worse is a kidney infection. And they are so very painful so I am really glad I went in, I think.
I know that my sister-in-law will be disappointed in me...at least I feel like she will be. She has the will-power of champions and has fought through years of cancer and I gave in to my minor ailment. I am going to continue the treatments of the probiotics she recommended and still drink cranberry juice. As a preventative measure. I also have not had sugar in 3 days. All those foods in the cupboards with sugars in them, I have bypassed (except maybe a eensy weensy snitch here or there...)
So, I am on the way to having a healthy body. MAybe with cutting out the sugars I'll see those 130's on the scale again?? *giggles*
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