In all unbelief there are
these two things: a good opinion
of one’s self and a bad opinion of
Unless a person knows what they are in comparison to the Almighty, they aren't saved. I always say if a person says they are good enough to go to heaven- I can promise if they die believing that, they won't be there. No one will ever be good enough. No matter how hard we try, we will never deserve to go there. But we get to. Because our debt has been paid in full, nailed to the cross. All we do is believe it's real. Awesome.
I just had an idea...for those shy about witnessing...You could tell someone you read a great quote, share the quote and head into a witness...
You see the neighbor...
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Oh, great and you?"
"Really really good...say, you believe in God and all that stuff?"
"I read this great quote today, It was something like in unbelief, people in hell, there's always an awesome opinion of self and a poor opinion of God. Isn't that so true? I mean...."blah blah blah
and you just go on and on about how awesome God is and how yucky you are and how all means all and free is free.
Bam! A full fledged witness and brownie points in heaven!
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental Component
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is:
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".