I went to bible study last night and as usual, had a great time. After leaving, I told my hubby if my pastor keeps using my name during study, people are going to think I'm the teacher's pet! lol
I don't think that's a bad thing, though. We have memory verses every week--two of them. It was mine and Craig's turn to say them, and after I said mine, I made a couple comments in regards to what I thought they meant and the Pastor, two weeks in a row, said the comments I made were good! Then Craig said his verse, and they waited for someone else to comment, but no one else raised their hand so I raised my hand and commented on his verse as well (this comment wasn't quite as good--I got corrected on something I said--I'm ok with that, though). No one else commented after me, other than the pastor.
Seems that rarely does anyone else say anything. Seems I am the only one who asks questions too. I mean, others do here and there, but it seems I am the one who asks the most. I can see people as looking down on me for it-- kind of like the kid in school who gets the most attention. I don't like it. It feels uncomfortable. I wish others would ask and maybe be more interested that they would comment or ask more questions...
I want to know things. I want to understand things. I want to grow. That's why God gave me leaders. So that they can help me do that. I'm not the smartest book on the shelf, lot of times I get rather dusty and I have to blow off my dust, shake it off a bit and pick myself up again. I feel lately that the cobwebs in my spiritual life need to be cleaned out. I need to get myself all ready for if Christ comes back today or tomorrow or whenever. I don't want to feel dirty (any more tan I have to) when He comes back.
I got some bible studies to help me, and I've been waking up earlier to get in some extra time during the day to do what I need to do. That's all I can do right now. *sigh* I just want to do better. I can always do better. His mercies are renewed every morning...
3 comments:
Oh you remind me so much of myself.
It got to the point on Wednesday nights at church that our pastor told me that he hated when I was not there because I got conversation going by my questions and comments.
This is where I would love to be able to sit and talk with you.
Do you know what your spiritual gifts are?
I remember where you are and trying to figure out why I was so different from others. People did consider me odd...or like I was trying to draw attention to myself.
But I had this ferocious hunger for the word and knowledge. It was unbelievable. This will draw criticism from others because they don't understand.
The reason I asked about your spiritual gift is because if it is what i think it is....what you are doing is a natural response to what the Holy Spirit put in you. Your thoughts that you are not as smart as others....sounds like me.
And you know what? In earthly matters you may not be as smart...but in spiritual things you may have understand that others don't. Good for you for allowing yourself to be corrected in public. Remember that in the future when you put out the information you have taken in....you will be more seriously judged than others. So to make sure what you are thinking is right is very important. I got to the point where I would right my questions and thoughts down...let my husband read it...and then pass it on to our pastor. My husband did not have the massive hunger that I did and eventually he understood that God was doing something in me that he was not prepared to deal with. He was only too happy for me to pass my questions on to the pastor.
There is so much I could say here. But I will stop this book.:)
But I would ask you to remember how Paul talked to Timothy. He told him not to feel bad about his age...or even to let others make him feel bad about his age.
I would encourage you to not let others make you feel bad about your lake of earthly education because you are being educated by the King of Kings.
Love ya girl!
Thanks Sharon--I like your "books"!
I don't really know what my gifts are. I mean, we all have them, but that's something a person usually lets someone else discern.
I know someone once said I had the gift of giving--to the point it wasn't good. I was giving so much of myself to others, I was forgetting about giving to me. Seems odd. It always seems right to give to others, be it financial, property or time. It is better to give than to receive.
I don't think people think I am dumb either. I think that I am just at a point in my spiritual walk that they are not at. I don't think the questions I ask are really dumb--ok, some of them are, but not all of them! :)
Maybe it's like when a person doesn't like you because really they are just jealous of how you look or something like that. I think that people around me who don't want to grow closer to the Lord, will just drift away to people who are more like them in their thinking. It's like some people draw a line in the sand and say "I've gone far enough." When I draw a line in the sand, I want to recognize it, erase it and move it ahead...
I know my thoughts are drifting from one place to another so I hope I didn't confuse you in all that. It feels good to get my thoughts out, though.
(((hugs))) from snow-buried Wisconsin
I usually want to say stuff in Bible study but am one of those who mumble when people stare at me so I just dont say anything!
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