Murder for Hire

If you would like to hire a killer,

it is now possible. His service is

professional, legally protected,

safe, sanitary, licensed and nondiscriminatory.

No secret contacts

or conspiracies are necessary. It is

all open and aboveboard. The

fees are quite expensive; but if

you desire the service and cannot

afford it, the government will

probably subsidize you. It is legal,

and there will be no future recriminations

against you, as far as

the laws of the land are concerned.

God does not approve,

but who listens to Him anymore?

If these killers could find a way to

do it, they would gladly kill Him

too.

Victims can be chosen for

nearly any reason, including financial

inconvenience, social inconvenience,

divorce, change of

boyfriends, wrong sex, a missing

finger, protection of personal privacy,

the covering up of sin, just

to prevent the lack of sexual activity

or for no stated cause at all.

The murderers get rich, the people

who hire them get relief, and

the victims get trashed. Easy, is it

not?

At present, these hired killers

do not accept people over nine

months old as victims; but perhaps

in time they can remove

some inhibitions that people have

about that and acquire permission

to include people over eighty or

perhaps over seventy, or maybe

they can get it down to sixty-five.

After all, these elderly people can

also become an inconvenience

or an embarrassment to their

families, neighbors or even society

in general.

You can acquire the information

you may desire for this service

by looking under Abortion in

the Yellow Pages. Be careful,

though; God keeps a record of

all our telephone calls and everything

that results from them.

Hiring one of these killers is

murder.

—Forrest L. Keener