Wednesday, August 22

What was your favorite pastime as a child?

Wow, what did I do as a child?? One thing I remember is going to my friend Jenny's house down the block. She was actually my older sister's friend and I think I stole her. At least that is what my sister says! LOL
We would play school when we were younger. Jenny was a few years older than me but we ended up being friends for many years. Pretty much until I moved up North to my Dad's house. I remember her being obsessed with her looks and makeup. I think her mom actually sent her to a beauty school. No offense, but beauty school didn't do much for her except make her look like a painted barn. I guess if the barn looks bad, paint it up!

I had some really awesome roller skates too! (I stole them from my sister too) They flashed lights on the wheels as you skated. I thought they were great. I couldn't stop with them, though. I always had to run into the grass to stop. Pathetic...

My brother and I played some games with the basketball hoop. One game was called "horse". You had to stand in one place and shoot the basket and once you made the shot, you moved to the next letter space until you spelled the word h-o-r-s-e. Obviously, whoever did it forst, one. Even though I played basketball on the school team, I rarely one. No wonder those girls didn't like me. I stunk!

Seeing as my parents kicked me out when I was 14, that didn't give me much of a childhood. In fact, my first job was when I was 10 at H&R Block--it was run by my Grandpa so it was legal and then I had a paper route when I was 12 and by 14, I could work at Burger King. I suppose that's a whole different story, eh?

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The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction

2. Foul vocal emissions

3. Amnesia of origin

4. Lack of peace and joy

5. Selfish or violent behavior

6. Depression or confusion in the mental Component

7. Fearfulness

8. Idolatry

9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is:

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".