You are sleeping, soundly...you hear clunk, clunk on your stairs. You suppose it's your daughter, coming up from the bathroom. Squeak....shoes on your painted floor...why would your daughter have shoes on at midnight? Clunk, clunk down the stairs....you get up, tiptoe to the top of the stairs...the waft of cigarette odor makes your stomach jump...it's NOT your daughter...the frigerator opens...chug chug chug, you hear the crink of the milk container...Your husband is snoring away in bed...and your 11 year old CAN NOT chug the milk like that...well, maybe...but she wouldn't have shoes and the cat would follow her down the stairs like a puppy dog, right? But the cat is at your feet afraid to go downstairs (so are you!)
So, I tell you what I did. I tiptoed and whispered to Craig. "Someone is in our house." He snapped awake and said "No." I whispered in seconds every thing I just said about the clunks the milk and the cigarette smell. He got up grabbbed the old stair rail and went to the stairs. He heard them and started banging the stick on the stairs and they ran out. I was on the phone to 911. WE saw three men run through the back yard. The police came and then a detective. It was like CSI in my living room! I would've taken a picture, but they stole my camera. LOL
After they left, I couldn't fall asleep. Every noise was a person (in my head)...
They stole stuff, they stole my only set of keys, the stole, they stole, they ransacked my house...had they not come upstairs, I don't think I'd have ever known they were there...They came in through a window and left out the front door...
God protected me. I put my laptop away before I went to bed in it's bag, behind the couch (not normal) I took the home phone upstairs with me...I don't know why. I've NEVER done that before when Craig was home...
I heard they steal your keys to come back later and drive down the street using the clicker to make the dome light come on. My clicker stopped working last week. Serious. Last week!
Well, don't expect any pictures any time soon. I can't afford to run out and buy a camera. Thankfully, I had an extra monitor in the basement and they didn't steal the rest of my computer. I am most thankful the man who was by my bedroom door, went back downstairs and didn't hurt my family. Colton never even woke up.
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental Component
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is:
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".