At church yesterday, the whole atmosphere felt different. People seemed more humble, more real, more approachable. I felt the wall at the very least, being examined. Many people were intrigued by my analogies and actually said they were going to try to tear down walls. I felt so relieved. Their prayers made me cry because I knew the thoughts behind them from the phone conversations through the week. Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be used by You.
This is the time of year where my family begs me to come and visit them. I have a hard time going because there are certain unspoken rules when I go to see them. #1 is they think my homeschool is inadequate--or at least they used to. #2 I wear dresses always and some how that makes them uncomfortable just that I wear them, not that I think they must as well...and most important or bothersome #3 God--don't preach. So, when I leave, I ask myself why I ever went...
#3 is the worst for me, because I rarely preach. It's not my place as a woman but I do speak what is on my heart, who I am, what I believe. My dad talks fishing, I talk God. My mom talks TV, I talk God. My sister talks kids and family, I do too, but I talk God with it...I think you get the idea. I can't tell them what I did last week or last year, because --oh, my-- I might mention CHURCH!! So, they want a fake, superficial me. They want me to put on some facade that somehow makes they feel comfortable. On the other hand, I love them so much. They are my family. But when it comes to them being my blood family, I feel the family ties I have through the blood of my Savior is so much stronger. My church family loves me for who I am, we have things in common. I don't have to pretend to be something I am not. If I don't understand them, I can ask a question and not feel I am going to be judged just because of my question. I can talk, laugh and cry with them, because they know who I am as the sinner I am.
Jesus asked, Who are my brothers, sisters, ect?" And He said those who do the will of my Father. And what is the will of the Father?? John 6:40 says
“For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on
the last day.”Awesome, hey? My brothers and sisters are those who will be raised up on the last day because they believe...I really feel that...It's not just that I say "these are my brothers and sisters in Christ" NO, these people who have trusted in the blood of Christ to wash away ALL their sins...they really ARE my family...While some of my family are more obvious in their disobedience, we all are disobedient in some way shape or form, they are all my family. The tie that binds me is not in doing or being obedient to God, but the blood that washed away the consequence of my disobedience. It is that common knowledge that makes them and I unified. (I know many nice people from other religions that behold Christ, but they think they are good enough to go to Heaven, and I don't have that bond and love and unity with them...Maybe I am babbling...)it is the blood that binds not how spiritual I sound...
So, when given the choice to spend the day with my mom, watch her get drunk, and spout out all my childhood sins again and again, then leave with the stench of cigarette smoke permeated in my skin, burning mine and my children's eyes, or spend the day with my church family praising God and sing hymns of glory and honor to Him who shed His precious blood for me...The choice seems so easy...
I know God sees my priorities as right.
4 comments:
I hear you coming through loud and clear. "Whoever would not be willing to leave Father, Mother, Brother, Sister.....is not part of me." I know that is paraphrased but that is the gist.
There is a narrow highway that few will find. When up on that highway-few will understand how we got there or why we want to be there.
Lol...Thank God someone does!
I can understand your feelings so much. I find it very difficult and uncomfortable to sit around family. It is hard to feel as though you can't be you. I, like you, can not speak about my life without talking about God. Jesus is my everything, not just my Sunday morning thing. *wink* That's hard for people to understand no matter how much they may want to. You can often see through their painted smiles and glazed eyes. God is so faithful though and I can say there have been improvements over the years. I am believing for even more change in my life and in my family's life.
((Big Hugs)) It's been a while since I have been able to get over here. I am so glad I got the chance today.
Congratualtions on your award!!!! :)
When you get a chnce run by my blog. I have a little something I have passed along your way. Have a blessed weekend!
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